


Making the Time

by roserosa



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Implied abuse, Other, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 16:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12173022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roserosa/pseuds/roserosa
Summary: Crona had always wished for death but they'd never imagined that it would save them.





	Making the Time

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Soul Eater fanfic and I started it at 2AM one night.
> 
> Essentially I saw the possible Kirona Week 2017 prompt for a Circus AU and this is what my fingers decided to write. The idea hasn't left my mind all week so I just had to finish it, even if it doesn't seem like the week will happen.
> 
> Anyway, I've tried to deal with the sensitive subjects inferred in this fic as sensitively as I can so I hope I did them justice and that everyone is still IC.
> 
> Enjoy!

The first time he came he was with the blonde woman.

She'd attended a few times, her wide green eyes always on me. She'd tracked my every movement, had followed me to the back of the tent at the end of the show only to fire question after question at me.

What was my name?

Was I eating well enough?

What was I doing here?

Did I want her help to get out of here?

I hadn't known how to deal with her questions. I'd told her that I was fine, that I was here with my mother. I'd told her that I didn't need her help.

I had smiled, pretty lies painted across my face as my tongue repeated the words people so often wanted to hear.

I was fine.

She hadn't believed me and now she had brought help.

I wanted to stay in the shadows that night, maybe if I was lucky they would have left. But the show had to go on and as Eruka left the stage, my name was announced. Instead of stepping forward, I had stepped further back into the shadows. But the spotlight hunted for me as my music began. The light hit the sequins of my suit, black shining almost silver in the night.

There was no escape.

It was time.

I was light on my feet as I danced onto centre stage. I flipped once, then twice, limbering up until just the right note of the music. Then I bent all the way back.

I was a contortionist most nights and an acrobat the other few. I wowed audiences by twisting in ways they could never imagine or I soared across the skies and prayed that tonight was the night that I would break.

Eyes were glued to me as I twisted my body around myself but one particular set almost seemed to sear through my skin.

I'd looked up to see the black haired boy there, his brow furrowed in concentration as he watched. He had turned his head and muttered something to the blonde. Then he had gotten up and left.

*******

I hadn't expected to see the man again.

He had turned up the next night after the show alone. He hadn't come to watch me, he had simply approached me behind the tent.

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers," I said.

He raised an eyebrow.

"It's usually best to follow the rules," he replied.

I waited for him to leave.

"But if you'd answer one question?" He asked.

"I'm fine! Everything's fine!" The words had bubbled up inside of me and up past my lips. My shoulders began to shake and I stepped back, trying to retreat into the darkness.

I just couldn't deal with everything.

He followed after me and the light caught his head. He had white streaks in his hair. For some reason, that felt important.

"No, not that question. I just wanted to know how you do what you do. It's impressive," he had replied.

I blinked, once then twice.

"I just do it. I'm just flexible, I guess," I had said.

The man had pursed his lips before he nodded and had walked away.

*******

More nights passed before the man showed up again.

I had returned to my tent for the night when he had stepped out of the shadows, his slick black suit allowing him to blend into the shadows.

"Good evening, Crona," he greeted.

His words were simple, friendly even but they set my heart racing too fast.

What did he want?

The woman had been simple to deal with, she'd followed the same pattern as every other person who had tried to 'help' me. But this was new, this was different...

I didn't know how to deal with it.

"Good evening..." I stuttered, my voice trailing off.

"My name is Death but please, call me Kid," he said.

I blinked at him, I wondered who had given him such a strange name. Was this a joke or simply a dream?  
I had dreamed of death many a time and it had taken many forms but never that of a handsome young man.

If only the death I craved was him, wanting him would be a lot less strange.

He turned away from me and entered my tent, he didn’t even wait to see if I would follow.

I scrambled after him, my head jerking left and right to make sure that no one had seen us but they were still all inside, celebrating another good show. We would be alone for a while.

Kid had brushed the dust off of a seat as I entered after him. He had even moved the chair to the exact centre of the room. As I watched he repeated the procedure with a second chair.

"Sit," he said.

I obeyed.

His eyes skirted across the room, not that there was much to look at, but they came to rest on the small pile of poetry books that I had accumulated over the years. The man paused, tilting his head to the side slightly before he strolled over to them. He flipped the top book’s cover open and hummed.

“You enjoy poetry?” Kid questioned.

I nodded.

“Do you have a favourite?”

I nodded again, slower this time.

I took the book from him, my fingers brushing through the well-thumbed pages until I reached one that was more worn than the others. I felt Kid at my shoulder, watched as he ran a single finger over the lines.

“Interesting. Would you read it to me?” he asked.

My breath caught in my throat as I shook my head.

I didn’t know why he was doing this, I didn’t know how this could help him or me.

I wanted to ask him what this was all about but the words got tangled on my tongue and I choked.

Voices sounded outside of the tent and I spun around.

When I turned back to tell Kid that he should go, he’d already disappeared.

*******

The next few nights passed almost exactly the same.

Kid was slowly becoming a staple in my life.

He crept into my tent, appearing in the dark and fading into the shadows just as I was sure we would get caught. But before then we could spend hours talking about everything from poetry and symmetry to my life.

One night we simply lay on the hard floor in a dark corner.

My fingers twitched at the neck of my suit, the sequins itching against my skin. I wanted to take it off but I couldn’t, not whilst he remained here.

“Do you enjoy performing here?”

Kid’s question jerked me back to my senses and I dropped my hand, rolling onto my side so I could turn away from him.

“No, but Mother needs me to. She says I draw in a lot of customers,” I replied.

What I didn’t say was that I was the distraction, that they would come to see me and then she would seduce them. She’d get them to give up all of their money, their possessions, anything she wanted and then she’d leave their bodies somewhere far away.

No one had traced them back yet.

And if they had...Mother would have done anything to get them to go away. She may have even used me to do so.

My fingers twitched again and reached up to toy with my collar, pulling the fabric away from my neck.

“Do you need some help with that?”

I jerked again and shook my head.

“No, I’m fine,” I squeaked.

Kid shifted behind me and I felt his breath on my neck.

“I can just unzip you if like. Give you a little more freedom,” he offered.

I swallowed, reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear.

Maybe he wouldn’t look closely, maybe if I turned around straight after.

“Okay,” I agreed.

The zip was cold against my skin as it was pulled down, the material gaping open after it. The evening breeze was pleasant against my heated skin.

Then I felt a warm pressure.

My breath caught in my throat but Kid’s finger was light against my skin as it followed the line of a scar that I had been too slow to hide.

“When did this happen?” he asked.

I shook my head again as I sat up, holding the top of my shirt up against my skin as I turned away from him.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Crona...it does matter. There were clearly-”

“I can’t deal with this right now!” My voice was sharp as I cut him off, my face flushed as I turned away.

This was why I hadn’t wanted him to see, why I didn’t want anyone close.

Every time someone came near they wanted to know how it happened? How often did she do that? Why was I still here?

No one ever understood that I didn’t have a choice, that she was my mother and I had to listen.

Why couldn’t they just leave us alone?

When I looked back up to ask Kid that very question he’d disappeared once again.

*******

It wasn’t until our last night there that I saw Kid again.

I thought he’d gone for good after the incident and I hadn’t blamed him.

Who would want anything to do with me?

It was late afternoon when he appeared in my tent.

I had been about to change into my costume, the dress I usually wore during the day adorned my frame but my feet were bare.

“Kid?”

He was sat in a chair he had placed in the centre of the tent, as usual, one leg neatly crossed over the other.

“Afternoon Crona.”

His voice was light but his hands belied his tone, his fingers were tensed tightly over his knee.

“What do you want? The show’s not even started yet,” I asked.

“I came to warn you about something. To give you a chance,” he replied.

I blinked at him.

He sighed, stretching both of his hands out in front of him, the movement completely in sync.  
“If you stay here you’re going to die tonight.”

“What?” I cried out.

My voice was too loud and I clapped my own hand over my mouth, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one coming.

“How can you even say that? How can you even know?” I demanded, my voice a whisper as I whirled on him.

“My father is death. Maka, myself and a few others check up on those due to die before their time,” he started to explain, pausing to reach out for my hands. “We’ve been given the opportunity to save some of those people, those who truly deserve to live in the name of balance.”

He looked up at me, his golden eyes earnest and open.

“But what if I don’t want to live?” The words spilt from my tongue before I could stop them. I felt his hands go slack around mine. “What if I don’t deserve to?” I whispered.

Kid released my hands but one arm reached out to wind around my hips as he pulled me forwards, stopping when his chin rested against my stomach.

“Please don’t say that. I know that I don’t understand, that I can’t even...” he broke off and shook his head. “Just come with me tonight. If you want to come back here after the show then, fine, but you can’t get on that swing tonight.”

Did I listen to him or did I just turn around and make my way to the big tent?

“Why?”

I didn’t realise I’d spoken the question at first, not until his hand squeezed my hip and he smiled lightly up at me.

“Because you’re a good person Crona and you deserve a chance to find that out for yourself. I want you to be able to figure out what you like and what you want to be in your own time,” he explained.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted to believe him, I did but I didn’t know if I could.

“Please...” he said.

I felt myself relent and I nodded. I wished I could promise that I could stay with him but I knew that I would probably come back.

I’d probably come back and my mother would punish me. She might even kill me herself and then all this would be for nothing.

But Kid...he actually seemed to care. He was the first time in a long time to actually mean those words and platitudes. He hadn’t just asked all the same questions and let me say that everything was fine.

We’d talked about more than just me and I wanted to do that more and for longer.

I didn’t want to be scared that I would be caught talking with him.

Kid released me and got to his feet, holding out a hand as he smiled up at me.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked.

When I nodded again he took my hand in his and pulled me towards the shadows and with one whispered word...we both disappeared.

*******

I wish I could say that we walked into my happy ending but it was a start at least.

A few months had passed and now I was able to lie on top of my bed with Kid next to me. His eyes fluttered shut and his breathing steady.

I reached for his hand, my fingers tangled with his as he murmured in his sleep.

This was my norm now, afternoons following after Kid and Maka followed by evenings talking with my new friends.

Out of all of them, Kid was the most special and he was the only one I invited to my room.

It wasn’t easy and I still had to fight the urge to go back to the circus and my mother but I was taking it a day at a time.

Things still weren’t perfect but they were getting there.

My skin would never be completely smooth and I might always have a low self-opinion but I was alive and free and it was thanks to him.

I watched as Kid’s eyes opened again and he smiled lazily up at me.

“Sorry, did I fall asleep?” he asked.

I shrugged in response as I rolled onto my side.

“That’s okay. I can start again. We have time.”


End file.
